For those of us who are a bit older, we can remember watching the television series of Ozzie and Harriet or the Cleavers, on the weekly hit, Leave It To Beaver. The plot usually went something like this: The husband comes home from a long day at the office, or the plant to find the little wife busy stirring something in a pot which is simmering on the stove. The mouth-watering aroma of her labors fills the air. The house has been tidied, the children are quietly playing and the feeling of calm is pervasive.
That scenario wasn't really a very accurate depiction of the "normal" family, but for those of us who faithfully watched it, we thought that it was and that perhaps there was something a bit off in our own families. To those who didn't grow up in the era of those models of family life, I imagine it is hard to even conceive of a family operating like that.
The current version of that family would now have the wife dragging home wearily after a hectic day at the office, a stop at the grocery store, the day-care center and the post office. A quick call to the local pizza delivery store will ensure that they all get fed. The house is still a mess from yesterday (and the day before that) and the children are tired and cranky. The kids don't see dad at all because he doesn't arrive home from his long and tiring day until the kids have been put to bed.
The reality of family life in our country today lies somewhere between these two extremes for many people and for some neither scenario bears much resemblance to their current situation. There are millions of families that are comprised of a single mom and children or in fewer cases, a single dad and children. In growing numbers there are also families of same sex couples with or without children.
The truth is that family life has undergone a drastic change in the last 40 plus years. Some of that change is definitely for the better as women now have much more freedom to choose the things they want from life and the opportunity to pursue those things as opposed to being thrust into a one-size-fits-all job description that just didn't work for everybody. More women now are better educated and can land better paying jobs and are involved in many facets of life that were pretty much unavailable in earlier times. That's great. The downside is that both parents are out of the home far more often than at any other time in history and that has had a profoundly disturbing effect on millions of children who need a sense of stability on which they can depend.
Society has reaped the rewards of absentee parenting with a huge increase in the number of dysfunctional youth. Certainly, other factors have contributed to this alarming trend that we're all witnessing. A faster pace of life, a troubled economy that often necessitates two working parents for survival, an erosion of values that have long been considered important for individuals, families and communities. Times have definitely changed.
It will be interesting to see what further changes will occur within American families over the next decade or so. Hopefully, they will be ones that will allow for more time spent together and more peace and contentment for all involved. Perhaps it's time for the pendulum to swing back the other way.
The Better Mix.
